Chadwell Club Darts

Monday Thurrock Mens Darts

Grays Working Mans B

The Gs were away to Grays B (I think the B is for Below par). Its not the first time this season the Gs have taken all 3 pairs. Wins For G Payne A Sibley W Dodd D Pigrem(at Last) D Brenchley (yes he did turn up this week) and S Pratt gave the away team 3 easy points. Even a board change could not give the home team any added bonuses, you would of thought they would of made up for it in the half time sandwiches ok if you like brown bread and tuna, chances were you would of ended up brown bread if anyone dare try them. Still a few tips for next season maybe try some white bread as well with a bit of cheese and even a bit of onion who knows you might even sell a few more cards. Bit like a channel 5 wedding.....great thought.....shit reception


The Gs welcomed the Whitehart with only 7 p;ayers Dave Elvis Brenchley and his side kick Raymond Van Barney Scott on the missing Dave was looking for his hair gel and Ray was a shadow behind, do people take that much notice when out dogging. With a player short that guaranteed the Whitehart a one nil lead. That did not last long as we won all 3 pairs. It was nice to see a few old faces Mr Martin and Mr Warren. Losses in the singles for the Gs was from Dave I have totally lost my memory Pigrem, Wayne did I win did I fuck and Bill who at least gave a captains innings. 7 4 a fair result.

John Brown Semi Final TCC B

The Gs romped home with an 8 - 3 win over TCC B to secure there place in the JB Final. We were 2 - 1 to the good after the pairs with E Warrior taking a good 113 finish to get TCC B there first point. Dave Elvis Brenchley found his winning form again beating R Moon. Danny Fleming found his way to the venue without any hickups, however his darts did not have the same sat nav as he was beaten by W Beaney. TCC B had to wait untill the last game of the evening to score there 3rd win as the Gs won through with wins for A Sibley J Wright G Payne 180, W Dodd and S Pratt.

The Gs will play either South Ockendon or the Athlone in the final


The G's went 2 -1 up after the pairs, Harry Potter Sibley and Dave Elvis Brenchley were the only casualties in the singles giving the G's an 8 - 3 win. The G's had a nearly a full squad missing only G Tozer who was probably out pleading poverty and chopping the hands off of people who have helped him what a waste of talent that man is. Danny Fleming even showed his face not sure where his other one was though. Greenline started this season off very well, but I feel they have fallen by the way side with the second half of the season not going as well as it could of. Greenline was without the Big G and although one player does not make a side he is certainly a player you would wish for in any event, so just because you was not there Gal you was not forGodden.

The Gs are away to TCC B in the John Brown semi final next week,TCC B should be full of confidence after  beating high fliers S Ock this week.


Well The G's were up against the league leaders. It looked like the writing was on the wall as the Gs were without Simon Pratt who had other commitments and Danny Fleming who is as reliable as a vampires period mind you he would still drink himself under the table and talk bollox.

The Gs went 2 1 up after the pairs with Wayne D and Keith White hitting 180s in there pairs match. Piggy and G Payne had the upper hand over Titch and Micky Squelch. The match looked like it was going to be another win for the mighty Athlone as they took a 5 4 lead with myself and Doddy to play and Athlone still having capable players in depth to secure the points. It was shit or bust for the Gs I was up against Mick Squelch which is nothing unusual as I usually end up drawing the little man. I think Mick left his dart arm indoors as it was probably the worst game I have seen him play and it was only right that I took full advantage of the fact, fetching the score to 5 all. In my opinion I would of played my dad or Steve Girling. Thats no disrepects to Steve Moore at all because he was up against the in form Doddy and if I had to pick it I would of gone for experience rather than putting Steve in at the deep end....thats not to say that Doddy would of lost in any event. A great result for the Gs and I am sure that Athlone would agree that we deserved the win.  

Stifford Clays

The Gs had to give Stifford Clays a game due to us only having 7 players with Raymond Van Barnie Scott and Dave Elvis Brenchley on the missing list, I think they went on a search party for The Toze but he was sunning himself in Yarmouth. Regardless we went 3 up in the pairs with Harry Potter Sibley having very sore shoulders carrying Danny F who could not hit a cows arse with a banjo, not saying Dan was shit but he even missed his mouth with a sandwich. Potter and Captain Marvel were the only casualties in the singles with wins for P Bush and N Smith. G Payne 180 Piggy missed out on 161 finish by 160 points only joking the first 2 darts were sweet enough leaving the bull which would of made a nice 12 darter, unfortunately a rush of blood and nasty snatch ended up with his dart hitting the ceiling in the kitchen. Still 15 darts later he found a double he could hit easily....a brandy. Young J Lawrence threw some good darts and narrowly missing out on a 114 finish, for his first season is showing the potential of being a good signing for someone next season. 


No report this week as I was not there. I have that unique man flu I dont want sympathy, however all donations and chocolates will be accepted.

Grays Working Mans Club

The Gs found there memory again winning 7 - 4 against a poor Grays side. Wins for G Payne D Fleming A Sibley S Pratt and J Wright on top of a 2 1 lead in the pairs secured the points. The in form Piggy got spit roasted and is now on special offer in most supermarkets, DWDDDDD hit another 180 and lost in style so a change of name should help him Did He Win Did He Bollox DHWDHB. Captain Marvel was unlucky to say the least he scored well but doubles cost him dearly, could be said he could of fallen in a bucket of tits and come out sucking his thumb. On a brighter note though Bills game is on the up and someone soon is going to get him firing on all cylinders.

South Ockendon Away

Another defeat for The Gs. The game could of gone either way in all fairness, The Gs didnt really get the rub as missed doubles cost us the points. Danny F had plenty of chances as did I and Jimmy. Piggy played out of his skin and is now a pork scratching not really the only one scratching was Mr Cannon wondering what had just happened as his performance was well worthy of a win against most, Piggy rounded of his game in 14 darts 100 140 140 100 21fin was a good game. Stuart Gordon knocked in a 170 finish cant believe he found his memory, well done Stu and deserved....after all, not everyone makes Tevez look like a super model like you do. Had to get a piss take in somewhere


The Gs breezed into the semi final with a comfortable win, albut an old fashioned steel well highway robbery for Bailey and Turpy. I think Bailey is still sulking, not sure if it was because he was robbed or that he didnt get a burger and a sandwich and a mars bar and anything I can eat type sulk after eating both the home and away teams sandwiches. The game didnt go in the way of TCC at all which The Gs took full advantage of. The TCC side were without both Penders and Neil which is always a bonus for opposing teams.

Aveley 10 - 1

To all that read this site firstly I would like to apologise for the late updates and I would like to dedicate this match to Simon Pratt in memory of his Dad Dave.

A minutes silence was observed before our home game with Aveley of which you could of heard a pin drop upmost respect to everyone who was upstanding in what could be said is the longest I have ever kept my mouth shut for, and if the truth be known I would of have found it very difficult to talk just like everyone else as it was a true mark of respect and not many a dry eye to be seen. I will leave the report as it is because for the first time in a while I am very much lost for words and choked. The scoreline says enough with wins for Si in both his pairs and singles.

Dave Pratt RIP 

Club Individual play off

Well after the seasonal break and my birthday celebrations and no league fixture the Gs held a round robin to decide who would represent The Gs in the club individuals on Delegates night. Myself and Bill are already playing in the Delegates, however we took part as there was a few casualties from the weekend sporting hang overs from hell. Piggy was still standing on a stool head in the loo singing the armitage shanks theme tune, Im Forever Blowing Bubbles Out My Nose, more like out his arse wearing his dressing gown bobble hat fingerless gloves and his other halfs red furry snow boots(I did say I would not say anything Julie) and Fleming was still on santas sleigh somewhere and who is that other bloke Tozer I think his name is was still AWOL, oh and Wayne DWDDDD Doddy who had that unique man flu (fuckin poof) There was myself,Bill,Raymond Van Barney Scott, Dave Elvis Brenchley, SPratt the minnow, Harry Sibley Potter and Jimmy Wright wright wright. It was wright wright wright all the way who won the spoils winning the right to play in the delegates. Apart from some exhibition darts from yours truly with finishes of shang hai on the 17s against the minnow a commentated 110 finish and spin round between each dart of 20 Bull Double 20 and to top the insults a sweet double top on one knee.


South Ockendon 15/12/08

The Gs went down 6 - 5 with what could be called an early xmas present to the Os. Countless missed doubles and players played a huge part. No excuses we were shit and they was not much better. Piggy and Payney were the only victors for the home side in the pairs. Danny Fleming who was pissed as a fart went on first but should of stayed on Santas sleigh and gone straight to Tilbury giving the Os a 3 1 lead through P Driscoll. SPratt the minnow pulled one back winning with ease G Payne went down to 2 1 to S gordon despite hitting another 180 Payne missed countless doubles to win 2 0 but fair play to Stu xmas came early. Piggy won 2 0 and never looked like losing. WDWDDDD Doddy was up next against an unbeaten S Barry but Si all good things come to an end with Doddy taking the spoils in a fairly one sided game with S Barry hitting his second 180 of the night, moans and groans from Barry saying he was distracted from someone in the crowd ( which was me) to amend a score should of been thanked as it reduced Doddies lead by 100 and resulted in Simon getting 3 straight darts, so pick your lip up Si and take the defeat on the chin. making the score 4 all. Jimmy Wright Wright Wright gave us a 5 4 lead and Andrew Potter Sibley was up next and should of secured the win started off well only to find he could not throw a dart point forward, for some reason Potter and his darts were left reeling going sidewards backwards and gave the game on a silver salva.The match now poised at 5 all with P Tompkins playing his last game before he heads off to sunny suffolk against Capt Marvel Billy Fowle. Bill was unlucky missing doubles to give the Gs the points. In all a good farewell to Pete hope all goes well mate from myself and all at the Greyhound.  

GWMC B 24th Nov

The G's again went 3 nil up after the pairs with some exhibition darts from G Payne finishing 92 hitting single 20 followed by 2 double 18s. Raymond Van Barney Scott was narrowly beaten 2 - 1 by I Sage more like Ice Age. Dave Elvis Brenchley sporting yet another unicorn shirt, which had lost its lettering this week, had no reflection on his game winning easily 2 nil.SPratt the minnow with his new pink darts played like a big girls blouse untill he took the more manly approach of favouring his less colourful darts winning 2 1. Andy Glen pulled one back beating Andrew Potter Sibley. Danny Fleming won with ease as did Gary Payne hitting his first 180 for a good solid perfomance winning 2 nil. Piggy enough said was as much use as an ashtray on a motor bike, getting crushed by LArch, Piggy claims that his Mrs had taken his step ladder away and he could not get out of the kitchen sink after taking his weekly bath, I know thats bollox because i spoke to Julie earlier who told me he was asleep in a shoe box(put the lid on next time Jules).Wayne DWDDDD Doddy despite hitting another 180 in the pairs came a cropper going down 2 nil despite missing a 170 shot out with 2 treble 20s and his third dart missing the board completely and landing in the car park.  

Whitehart 17th Nov

The Gs found there feet again after 2 league defeats, with a very one sided 9 - 2 victory. The Gs went 3 up in the pairs with ease. Talking point of the night was the super models tweedle dim and tweedle dimmer sporting there new personalised unicorn shirts. It must be said that both Ray and Dave with Ray-mond Van Barney-Scott and Dave The Shirt Brenchley looked the part, just a shame they spelt Daves wrong as it should of read The SKIRT. Just like the new shirt Ray got his time to shine as he played his first singles game in weeks and never looked like he was going to lose with a comfortable win.Wayne DWDDDD Doddy 180 impressed also by the new shirts was disappointed that not only would there not be enough shirt to have his name printed on, it would also cost a small fortune in lettering and labour costs.Just as well he can throw a dart smashing in another max in a closely fought game and game of the night with Wayne taking the spoils. The only two losses came from me and my good mate Jimmy Wright who saved my blushes by not having to drop my trousers.Sorry to the bar maids who were eagerly awaiting to see me in my glory and thanks Jimmy. Wins for Simon Pratt, Andrew Sibley Dave Pigrem Dave The Skirt Brenchley secured the Gs victory

Fours Comp

The Gs won there first piece of silverware by retaining the fours. Well done to Jimmy Danny Simon and Wayne. Two players in the side were able to defend there fours win from last year Toze went AWOL and I was not given the opportunity. However the Gs won there first game only to face the eventual winners commanding the first leg losing out on double trouble and Simon took full advantage of Piggys wheel of fortune trick. See you in Yarmouth and stay off the merry go round just in case you get hit with a dart.  

Greenline 3rd Nov

A crunching defeat left the Gs wondering what happened, it could be said the Gs were without 4 of there team including team captain Bill who got out of his death bed to make it in time to pick the side for the singles. The Gs heads were down from the off and greenline took full advantage of an early xmas present. The game  ended in a 6 5 win to greenline. Sorry the report is short but it was that long ago and apart from the scoreline the game was hardly a classic or memorable. Well done to those who turned up and well done greenline

Athlone 27 Oct

The G,s started off well in this top of the table clash, going 2 1 up after the pairs, think I will leave it there as the rest was bollox.

Only joking the G,s looked like they was in control and heading for yet another victory. The singles started with Dave Elvis Brenchley giving Mick Hill an early Xmas present, with Elvis missing more doubles than Oliver Reed although it could be said Olly has hit more.Then it was Jimmy Wrong Wrong Wrong on the night as Keith White got an early bus ride to the bar.The G's pulled one back with DWDDDDD scraping through against Bobby Moore(Did he win the world cup on his own.....Na fuck did he)SPratt the minnow was up next(dropped in the pairs) against argueably one of the best players in the league Chucky narrowly missing out going down 2-1.Danny Fleming was next to the slaughter as Micky Squelch never looked in trouble with another solid performance from the little man.Andrew Potter Sibley poor very poor didnt even look like he wanted to play or be there.Tozer the Dozer played the down syndrom kid who started off with a 180 only for the Dozer to follow with a 180 and like Elvis could not hit a double if it was to of bit him on the cock, still came through to win 2-1. Last man up was Piggy who recovered from his near heart failure in the pairs, ran home without even a huff or puff against Steve Moore, (keep the pump at hand). Overall a game that could of gone either way .....didn't.

GWMC B John Brown 1st Round

The G's in rampant form breezed into the round 2 of the J Brown cup with a 9 - 2 thrashing over a poor Grays team. A win in the pairs and one in the singles for Grays was the best they could offer, in this one sided match. In defence of our singles loss Dave Elvis Brenchley should of been rockin n rollin if he could of hit a double. Rumour has it he even tried to buy a double on e bay but being disleckick put a bid in for a bubble, of which got well and truly burst. On a happier note for the G's Piggy again found his feet(by looking in a mirror) and hitting a 180 with only 3 darts, The Tozer Dozered his way through,leaving the pathway for Harry Potter Sibley, Wayne DWDDDD Doddy, SPratt(hardly a minnow),G Payne and Danny Fleming all winning 2 nil.  

Stifford Clays 13th Oct

Another great result for the G's. The G's were without Jimmy Wright Wright Wright but welcomed the return of Mr Tozer and Captain Marvel Mr Billy Fowle. The game see us a go 3 up after the pairs, mind you most teams would of the way Stiff Clays performed.The only real glimmer of hope for clays was wins in the singles for J Laurence against Dave(I ordered the wrong flights but still in the click) Pigrem, N Smith against W Dodd and Mr Gant over Ray-mond Van Barny-Scott. W Dodd 2x 180's one in the pairs and one in the singles. The G's wins in the singles G Tozer 114 fin, G Payne 112 fin, A Sibley, S Pratt and Dave Brenchley double 2 finish. Good to see the younger players in Stifford Clays coming through Ben Scott much improved from last season and J Lawrence a good win over Piggy with only one eye two fingers and only 12 years old oh and not very good at pool. In all a captains innings and outings.

TCC A 06 Oct

Well TCC were very quiet after going down 6-5,to a well under performed Greyhound side. Wins for Jimmy Wright Wright Wright, Dave Elvis Brenchley,Wayne(I have to shout as loud as I can for NO real reason)Dodd and Dave Pigrem. Dave Pigrem at last found his form after a couple of non eventful games, against Danny(Wheres my passport)Bailey. Piggy smashed in his first 180 of the season followed by 2 tons to leave Bailey huffin and puffin but could not blow Piggy away. The match poised at 5 all Wayne Do wa diddy, diddy dum diddy Doddy sealed the win for the G's.

TCC's singles wins came from Liam Pender, Neil Phillips,James Russell and Chris Vorderman Russell. As always a great night guaranteed where ever TCC play. Nice one lads 

Marvel Cup

TCC B  29th Sept 08

A 9 - 2 Greyhound win secures our place in the next round of the Marvel Cup.

The home team were up against it, going into the singles 3 nil down after the pairs.

Wayne Beaney put TCC's first point on the board beating a well performed Ray Scott, Dave Elvis Brenchley put us 4 - 1 to the good. Jimmy Wright Wright Wright missed countless darts at doubles to increase our lead to an unusually below parr Jimmy Myers giving TCC there second win. Greyhound wins for Andrew POTTER Sibley, Dave Pigrem, Danny Fleming and Gary Payne secured a well deserved victory. Wayne Ken Dodd almost came a cropper to Alfie Moon who was unlucky not to take the first leg against the in form Doddy, but made up for it taking the 2nd leg. I was not sure if the extractor fan kicked in or Waynes arse was flapping. A good 3rd leg from Wayne secured his blushes.



A great start to the season with new players on both teams performing well. A deserved 7 4 result of which still did not get Carol to let me look up her skirt, although threats of her wearing a thong next time scares the shit out of me.